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Monday, February 28, 2005
1st day of work for my new part time job..the whole day seems fine..working, goin out with ZQ after work...but when i reach home..the situation changes..
I come to this conclusion..I am nvr happy at home..
Added to this sadness.. I guess i will never find my 幸福(happiness) because she will not be mine.. Well..nothing happens actually, just that i am listening to Wang Li hong's FOREVER LOVE... whenever i listen to that song, thoughts and feelings arise..I just got this bad feeling, maybe it's not a feeling..it's reality..that she will never be mine..I simply love the song FOREVER LOVE alot..it's the nicest song i ever heard..well-written, well-expressed by Wang Li Hong..have been playing only this song whenever i am at home..This song will make me think of her..not because she likes it..but is simply because how much i love her..just like how much i love this song..NO!! It is much more than that...
HaiZ..really lost abt what to do now..Maybe I should just go in NDU and pursue my dream and think of nothing else..
Alrite..tat's all..i'm afraid i cant control myself anymore if i write any longer...
Because I write with my feelings..
''永远爱你.. I just want to love u baby forever..
Now till ever..You are the reason to my happiness..''
( Change ''character encoding '' to unicode[UTF-8])
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/28/2005 10:26:00 pm|
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Sunday, February 27, 2005
Finally get to chill out today!!
Well..This is the 4th time i went out with my friens since i quit my job at EGL 1 month ago..The feeling's so great although we just walk walk ard..Oh, ''we'' refer to Qifeng, Hwangbin and me..They are my friens from 03s13..We went Orchard to walk ard..With qifeng geared up with $70 taka voucher which he won from lucky draw in D&D, and Hwangbin with $100 Royal Sporting House voucher which he got it from Singnet..I equiped myself with $200 cash..haha=P But in the end..our ''ammos'' are still intact..went home empty handed..haha
And yeah..today so qiao..met Gen at Tampines MRT..we were going in the same directions ( Hmm..how much difference would we be going when tampines is the 2nd last stop in Eastline) We are in the same cabin..or rather i was standing in front of her seat..So sorry to Hwangbin for pangseh-ing at bedok MRT..but he understands ar..anw, he was late=P
Toking abt late..I am finally not late anymore..not once since the start of 2005..yay!! I should be proud of such achievements because i am labelled as the "Tardy King".
Hmm..Gibson mentioned something about Fate during our chat this morning..he said whether he can go OCS depends on fate..can go means can go..
But then..Think about it: If really depends on Fate, why do people still have to make choice? Isn't this contradicting..For me..I believe that Fate do exist..but we don't depend on her..Because when Fate comes into action..we are blessed with something called choices. They will lead us to unknown paths for our future..and that's why they are sometimes called Tough Choices..And only when we make a choice..we will realise it is good or bad..Then here comes the word called Regret.. So the bottom line is Fate comes into our lives..but whether we make good use or screwed it up is dependent on us..how we are going to play along with Fate..
Well..Fate sets it up for me today..But i screwed it all up..Another regret was added to my Regrets..I suck man.
Alrite..it's getting late..3.00am now but i modified the time so as to keep it a 27th Feb entry..i oso write too much le..I am sure u ppl will get bored reading it..Tat's all then.
''我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后 你会是所有 幸福的理由''
(change to ''unicode[UTF-8]'' to view the chinese characters)
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/27/2005 11:59:00 pm|
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Saturday, February 26, 2005
I am not happy today..not only that..i almost teared but i controlled it because not worth tearing over it..Broke my heart when my mother said all those things to me..i was wondering if i was her son..
''决定爱你之前 对爱轻描淡写 担心爱情永远 难以实现 ''
P.S: Set "Character Encoding" to Unicode(UTF-8) to view chinese characters.
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/26/2005 11:59:00 pm|
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Friday, February 25, 2005
Hoho..today finally get to row dragonboat..not coxing anymore..well..seriously miss the rowing times wif my batch boys..That was the best time i ever had man,though evey training will have new injuries..but everything so worth it..
Well..i have to admit that i don't row as good as i used to be..Like the coach have said..u have to consistently practising it in order to row well..but come on..this is my 1st rowing since 8mths ago..i will become a better rower man...haha..who knows..u may check me out in national team in future..jkjk..i still wanna excel in my NDU career=D
Went old airpot road to haf dinner with some of my juniors..hmm..the wanton mee still taste as nice as be4..yumyum..anw..tat stall belongs to one of my batch girl, Aimin..see her face like very sianZ..must be waiting for YL to book out ar..one more day only, ENDURE!!
The $2 wanton mee is definitely not enough for big eaters like us..so we decided to order oyster omelette..Ordered 2 plates of $8 (biggest serving) We thought the servings are not alot...but then we stuff ourselves until we are sick of it..simply too much sia...guess we wun be taking oyster omelette for a period of time le..haha
Hmm..Dunno why i write so much crap..probably i'm too bored le..Well..Off to training le..hohoho
"I want to tell her,
I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her
but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why."
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/25/2005 10:35:00 pm|
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Thursday, February 24, 2005
Well..there's nth much for me to blog lately..because there's really nth much happening lately..i'm totally bored out..Zq is ending his job soon..and so finally my companion is back!! haha..
A levels releasing soon..be it good or bad..life still goes on for me..just that there's different planning for me to do..
Hmm..43 more days to NDU...well..it seems so contradicting..43 days is so long and at the same time...not much time for me left..it's true i cant wait to get enlisted to NDU..but as i countdown..it means i got lesser and lesser time left..Should i tell her my feelings or should i just continue the way we are now..Who can enlighten me which path to walk..haiZ...
For those waiting for results..Gd luck to u ppl..
For my juniors..study smart..not studying hard tho..cos i tink studying hard is a waste of time..if u can't study..let me tok to u..i will try my best to make u study wif my personal experience..dun follow into my footsteps..u all will regret it..Like me now..
''I believe in fate..Fate lets me meet her..Does she believe?''
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/24/2005 01:39:00 am|
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Saturday, February 19, 2005
Went sea training yesterday...Dennis(my senior) went down too..
He told me about his sad story which i was very shock when i learnt about it.. 4+ years of relationship really so fragile? Another guy can juz come in between like that..I really feel sad for him...he really loves his ex-gf very much...HaiZ..but what to do.. ren xin nan ce..
Now..seeing Dennis' case, i am wondering if i can find a gf who will be my one and only one..if not i shall not get into a relationship if there's one...
I hope that she is the one..But is it really she?
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/19/2005 04:25:00 pm|
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Thursday, February 17, 2005
I regret not telling her i got it specially for her because she said she liked it..
Or maybe she just don't want me to get the wrong idea..
I hate myself..i'm such a failure...
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/17/2005 10:23:00 pm|
I regretted for not telling her when she ask me what i regret...
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/17/2005 12:08:00 am|
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Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Hmm..Now i know y i am a TPJC dragonboater.I have this hobby since i am young..Hee..
Little JJ: whole boat ready for hard 10..kiyah!..Laiyah!..Kiyah!
Father: Oei!! Pacer..slow down the pace..we can't catch up..
Little JJ: Kiyah! Laiyah! ( As usual, JJ in his dreamland..)
Mother: Wah lau..tulan..don;t row already..cannot catch up..
Father: He one person can row le..we juz relax..wahaha
Dragon head: OMG..I'm so scared!! I'm moving too fast..who's the pacer???
Little JJ: Whole boat ready for charge!!!
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/15/2005 11:02:00 pm|
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Monday, February 14, 2005
Today's valentine's day...
Weilun and Zesen ust reminded me of something i do not wish to remember: Last year this date..we were playing soccer at TPJC bball court..while most ppl are celebrating vday..sad sia..
This year is worse..did not even get to play soccer as most of the guys went to NS le..now totally nothing to do..and dunno what to do..
"I got your number on the wall
But i am not goin g to make that call.
How would i be able to deal-
Your rejection would be so real?
It's your voice i'm longing to hear
Your voice which is so dear.
Would you ever pick up that call?
Or would u leave me to fall?
Friends told me to call you
But the fear of rejection is there
I don't know if i should tell u my true feelings
Because I am unsure about what i feel for you
Is it just another infatuation?
Or is it love?
The thought of you rejecting me
Scares me so."
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/14/2005 04:47:00 pm|
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Saturday, February 12, 2005
Read some info on Naval Divers today..Super motivated to train harder to prepare myself physically and mentally fit for the upcoming training commencing in 2 mths..
I haf now becoming more ambitious abt my future career and my goals set are seeming to be quite unachievable in the eyes of normal civillians..But i will do it for i am a future frogman - Special breed of men
Alot of ppl may call me mad..but seriously i tink time is running out for me..there's simply too much things to prepare and learn..i shall not say any further..later i leak out some p&c info..(not permutation and combination..it's private and confidential)
Alrite..back to training..
To find me,you got to be smart.
To catch me,you got to be quick.
To beat me(you got to be KIDDING!)
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/12/2005 02:07:00 am|
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Friday, February 11, 2005
To hell with people who take supplements...
If u think supplements goin to give u big muscles..nicer bodies...greater strength..Let me tell u.. U ARE F***ING WRONG.
My strong belief is that it is through hard training..plus a little of gene factor that give you the results u want in training..Get the results naturally..
Supplements is a total waste of money..if u got too much money to spare..donate it to me then.. If u are not cut out to train... Dun waste money to force yourself to act against nature..Even if u act against the natural way..ppl will only say it's fake..
Ok..i am mad abt training le..totally mad..
If you bleed more in peace,
You will bleed less in war,
Coz the only easy day was yesterday
Train hard , Fight Easy..
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/11/2005 11:09:00 am|
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Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Dreams
Have been dreaming of her for the past few days..One of them is a bad dream too..And for the 1st time in my life..i struggles to woke up from this bad dream and shouted out the moment i woke up..my heart was thumping real fast and i was panting as if i juz run 5km..i dreamt of something happening to her..and it's bad..(Well..i am not crazy..)
Been thinking about it..why do we actually dream of someone around us..Is it because we think of the person too much tat resulted she/he even to appear in our dreams..Or dreaming of her is a premonition that something is goin to happen..The next question is if the latter is true..do wad we dream actually reflect in our daily lives in the near future? If we haf a good dream..is something good goin to happen..or it's the other way round..
Well..i really need some enlightenment..guess will do some research abt it..
" IF I LET HER GO..I WILL NEVER KNOW
WHAT MY LIFE WILL BE..HOLDING HER CLOSE TO ME
WILL I EVER SEE.. SHE SMILING BACK AT ME....."
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/09/2005 02:13:00 am|
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Tuesday, February 08, 2005
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/08/2005 01:05:00 pm|
Wrong things to learn in NS..But funny advertisment though..
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/08/2005 11:31:00 am|
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Monday, February 07, 2005
Today is a boring day for me..
Went Bedok swimming complex at 1.30pm and get out of tat place at ard 4pm..Met Ella(db vice capt)..she was swimming too..Chat for a while then start to swim le..
Wad's worth mentioning is i swam for 50 laps todae..ok..1st few laps i did stop..but then later it's non stop swimming..wahaha
I got tanned too!! was lying on the the poolside for ard 45mins..then there was tis uncle keep looking at me since he came..and when i walk off to bathe..he followed me too..and yucks..he keeps looking at me when i am bathing too..yucks..is he a pervert?
i really getting to enjoy swimming very much now..HOHOHO
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/07/2005 11:30:00 pm|
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Sunday, February 06, 2005
So much happenings this wk..
Almost get killed 3 times this wk sia..
1st time is when i go down P-serve to hand in my timesheet on mondae 31jan..while trying to cross a zebra crossing..a van jus suddenly turn in w/o stopping..the stupid van was driving at normal speed sia when it is turning..if not for my EGL buddy, Mr Poh who hold me back..i would haf been killed..
2nd time is the same scenario..juz tat tis time is at a diff place and with a diff person.. was walking wif ZQ to interchange for dinner on Friday4Feb..I was hold back again..if not i will die..
3rd time happens on saturday 5Feb...tis time i was walking from home to interchange...was crossing the pedestrian crossing when suddenly a car juz turn in..it brakes immediately..and i move back some steps..the distance is juz ard 10cm btw me and the car..can u imagine it if the car din break suddenly and i dun move back..phew* what a close shave..
escape from death 3 times..guess it must be heaven watching over me..hohoho...
So now on have to be more careful outside..given my condition..it's no longer car knock me, car damage..it's car knock me..me die..haha..only some ppl will understand wad i mean=P
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/06/2005 11:10:00 pm|
Review For Wk 1 Workout 30jan - 5Feb
Have been training everyday for this wk.. Can't deny tat i am no longer who i was during June last year..But with a little pushing everyday in my workout..there's some results according to Derekastic (db derrick)..
went swimming with Derekastic this afternoon..
D: "Hey, do i look slim down now?"
J: "Hmm.. Ok leh..still look abt the same"
D: "But i lost 4kgs in NS sia.."
J: "Then wad abt me..got any change?"
D: "ehZ yea..ur arms are bigger now.."
Not only tat..tis wk's training haf improved my determination and perseverance day by day.. Which i tink is good for me..
So rating for my condition..
Physical Condition : 30%
Mental Condition : 25%
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/06/2005 10:55:00 pm|
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Friday, February 04, 2005
Doing my workout now as usual..at the same time..bogging during my in-between rest time..into the 6th day of my training..there isn't a day i never train since the start of my training..Everytime i train..my motivation and determination increases..hoho, i am getting back to myself soon..
Was chatting wif my frien as usual..shan't mention her name..she was her usual self until suddenly she seemed to be very sad..was wondering y gals always had mood swing..hmm..chat wif her..trying to cheer her up and dunno y tok till her "love life"...and it is so much alike ZQ's one..could feel the difference in tone when she tok abt her love life..guess she really love tat guy alot..and i tink i haf made her remembered her unhappy past..but appreciate tat she told me abt her things...we weren't really close friens though..
Then i learnt a new phrase from Fazli when i ask him how to cheer a gal up..i tink it's nice and edited part of it..haha
" Have 24 hours a day, 23 /24 hours i am willing to hear u out ..
For the remaining 1 hour..it's for u to cry on my shoulder.."
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/04/2005 01:36:00 am|
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Thursday, February 03, 2005
I lied on the bed since 3am..wanted to sleep..shuld be tired and sleepy after my workout..but can't get to sleep..I dunno what's bothering me..Or rather i juz wanted to keep it to myself..HaiZ
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/03/2005 05:00:00 am|
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Wednesday, February 02, 2005
My 1st entry..haha..but no one knows abt my reconstructed blog yet..except for a dumbo named Jeanie=P
Had a nice dream yesterday night..i dreamt of her. Sound sick rite.. But somehow whenever i had a nice dream..i couldn't seem to remember it after i woke up from it..Hope i can dream more of her later..
Haf been staying at home whole day..only went out in the afternoon to bet soccer for the 1st time since i work..The rest of the day was low...not much of household chores to do today..so haf been playing Football manager..oso for the 1st time since i work..HaiZ..somehow i beginning to miss EGL..omfg!! Why do i haf such thoughts..
Today seems to be so differently..i seem to be feeling low all the time..maybe because my surname is LOW..(i getting lame-_-") somehow my heart felt heavy..but i cant explain y..i dun wanna say it out too.. At one point of the time..i was so low tat i was singing edited version of various songs(my version)..then my sis msg me and ask me to stop singing when she was juz beside me..guess she was disgusted by my voice..but she said it's funny...haha.. Initially was tinking tat it was a SMS from her.. but then my sis gif me false hope..HaiZ..
Tat's all for now..Guess only the dumbo will read tis entry=P..goin to torture myself
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/02/2005 11:59:00 pm|
The Game is back!!
bRuCmErIt was here.. |2/02/2005 03:21:00 am|
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